Clarika

And So I Died With A Broken Heart

and so i died of a broken heart

ZWAN

If only I'd die
Just once in my life
Only to try
To take a guess
To be the best.
A feeling I hide,
That runs this world
It keeps us alive
I want you to glide with me

Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die

The heart of a child
Is in your hands now
So let's see you smile
'Cause I'm not impressed with your loneliness
And it's been a while
Since you forgave all your changes made
So lets count the miles together

Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die

If only I'd die
Just once in my life
If only to try
Together

Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die of a broken heart
A broken heart
Until I die

Short Circuit

Rating:	★★
Category:	Other

OK, so this was like the second time in 2 years I attended the Circuit Asia Parties, And I guess it was the second time I left in a huff totally disappointed. The music got no flair and intensely boring, the decor was in total disarray, and it was the driest crowd ever (and what? No Cuties?! You gotta be kidding me). It was like a nuclear war happened and all those survived were crappy, insipid music, bad decor taste and walking, two legged roaches. First thing, the venue is as crappy as it gets, Bigfish had their Godskitchen there last year and I hated every minute of it just trying to get to the restroom and back. The floor was dirty, everything stinks and the lavatories leaves much to be desired. If I have to compare the first Circuit Asia (last year at World Trade Center) and the one last Friday Night, the latter short-circuited horribly. There are too many queues for tickets, the people at the ticket booth got no change (which annoyed me horribly so I said, blast it, you keep the damn 50PhP), and the DJ was just oh well... ayayayayay... Id rather listen to my own music collection. Sad, sad...indeed it was a horrifying halloween...

What is Pain?

An Unfinished Description of Pain

How does one feel pain?
Of longing, of emptiness,
of realization and then of acceptance?
It is the pain of tears damming
in your eyes,
waiting to burst open
and a dry sob rising to the throat
then stifled.

It is the mournful gaze,
the pensive sighs, the tentative touch, the gasp in between breaths,trying to drown one's soul
in the sea of sadness.

It is the pregnant pause between the lines of a poem and the fading melody of a sad song, the end of a phone call and the slamming of the door.

It is the end of a conversation, the receding shoreline from a departing ship, the lingering perfumed shirt of a lost love one, the echo of a memory and the shadow of a farewell embrace.

It is the implacable sadness, the bitter aftertaste of a goodbye.

Ah but pain is a quicksand of sorrow. But that pain and joy of knowing that one has fully loved will forever be written in the forgotten sonnets of passion, in folly and in the memory of a one kiss too less.

===================================================================

 

Pardon my sentimentality.  Poetry is shedding tears in ink. I'm just blogging my pain away.

How to be in love with the wrong person without really trying.

1. Sleep with the person. (I am not saying that sleeping with someone
can make you fall for that person, but sometimes even one-nighters can
complicate feelings. Even you don't want to fall for that person, you just
increase your chances that you will, sooner or later.)

2.
After the deed, continue as if nothing happened. (Brushing off feelings
can inadvertently make you even think more about the person. When you
expend the energy of avoiding the person, you are bringing yourself
psychologically closer.)
3. Bring the person to the parties and avoid each other the whole night. (God. So wrong.)
4. Go to Boracay together with your other friends. (And end up avoiding and not talking with the person for the whole stay.)
5. Associate a particular song with the person and have it looped over and over on your iPod. (Mine was Pink Life by Gyskard.)
6.
Pick up a book randomly in the bookstore then realize the book is one
degree connected with the person. (I went to Greenhills and picked up a
book, and damnit it's Dr. Zhivago and the whole Russian Revolution
thingamajig).
7. Deny your feelings. Rationalize. Find the person's
weakness and faults. (And it will hurt even more and make you more
drawn to that person.)
8. Picture the person's smile, or laugh or
how the person wrapped his/her arms around your waist while you pose
for a photograph. (Guaranteed. You'll end having a broken heart.)

I so hate being in love.

Don't ask me why there is a Russian flag here. Wo bu zhi dao Bitch!

I write therefore I am

I felt so weak these past few days. I fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong time once again. The person whom I only slept once, rarely spoke with, and so totally not my type. But love grows in adverse places, in the most inhospitable and unusual conditions, that love is such the greatest mystery of the universe. I never realized that a person can grow stubbornly like a wart inside you no matter how you fight back the feeling, I realized that I was still human after all. I thought I have learned my lesson from my previous relationships, and I am thoroughly scared that everything is gonna happen again like a recurring nightmare.  The person will be leaving two weeks after my birthday. And I realized that before the person leaves for Moscow, I am gonna tell how I felt about everything. How I loved and lost again. And how I will never see that person ever. Maybe not in this lifetime.

Halloween Pajama Race!

Start:	Oct 28, '06 8:00p
Location:	168, The Fort Strip

Halloween Race organized by Underwater Hockey athletes... Be in your boxers, briefs, pajamas, lingerie (gasp!)

My Birthday Party

Start:	Nov 17, '06 8:00p
End:	Nov 18, '06
Location:	Donnelly's Place @ Ayala Alabang (tentative)

tentative info.... since my birthday falls on a weekday (14 falls on a Tuesday, I might be moving my party to 17 November so that everyone can come).... :) its gonna be a pool/bbq party! :)

Post Halloween Black Out Party!

Start:	Nov 4, '06 8:00p
End:	Nov 5, '06
Location:	Discovery Stes. Ortigas (room number to be texted)

Black Out Party @ Discovery Stes.

An's Birthday Party

Volkan's Farewell Bash

Pink Life.wmv

For the girl who has everything... :)

An's Birthday

Start:	Oct 20, '06 7:00p
End:	Oct 21, '06
Location:	New Manila, Quezon City

Swim Dinner Party

Aida Gomez' Carmen

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Other

I just got back groggy from Boracay last Sunday and it was a refreshing Tuesday night at the Cultural Center of the Philippines' Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo as the 2004 Spanish Dance Awardees' Aida Gomez Dance Company performed a dance opera of sorts, Georges Bizet's Carmen in flamenco. I havent watched any plays in the past 2 years and so the performance gave a little of acculturation and a little sense in what a "nightout" I did have in the past couple of months. A night at the opera was a pleasurable experience indeed, contrary to popular notion that it can be boring...

Anyway thanks to my friend Luis Enrique (Luisen) from Instituto Cervantes, he got me two front row tickets at the balcony and so initially I thought of bringing my college friend (and fellow theater mate) Gerda as this gonna be my birthday gift for her. I sent a message several times but apparently her phone was running low on battery so she wasnt able to take any of my messages so I asked my friend Maggie to come with me instead of which she was particularly pleased. After all, we partied our asses off in Boracay the previous weekend. This should be a welcome respite from all that crunk.

The entire performance was 1 hour and 40 minutes in its entirety and without any intervals. Set in Seville, Carmen is a study of love triangles and fiery passion, and with the flamenco as the medium with Spanish guitars as accompaniment, Spain indeed owned the performance.It's a red hot passionate signature Spanish performance. Portraying Carmen and the ladies in such a fashion that would Bizet smile in his grave, I whispered to Maggie that the performance should be renamed "The Loose Women of Spain". After all these were the gypsy women. In a nutshell, the women were fire dancing onstage.

The Toreador Song, probably one of the most popular songs from musical theater was lovingly rendered, and I am sure would have made almost instant connection with everyone in the audience.

The encore was sweet and fun, and my heart went out to the Escamillo character, for his fierce encore. All in all, except probably the Habanera part, made me stayed awake allthroughout the whole show. The Habanera was not part of the original play by Bizet, it was only added after consultations with patrons. Looking forward for more performances to come!

Anj's Wedding

Boracay Trip 2006 Edition

The Boracay Pilgrim

At least once a year, I head towards Boracay for my yearly pilgrimage and this year was no different. I have never seen Boracay this amazingly beautiful, that even with my jaded taste, my jaw just dropped. This just confirms the fact that Boracay or Bora as it is lovingly known always makes it to the list of the top 10 best beaches in the world. The beach was clean, there were no hordes of noisy tourists, just the perfect chillax crowd. The beach and the water was very clean too, no beds of algae that usually spoil the beauty of Boracay's waters. We woke up today with a sky painted vividly blue with wisps of cirrus clouds. I mean this just takes the cake. So like our usual travels, we knocked ourselves off taking photos, getting drunk with our heady cocktails <loved the numbers game, at 3am, I was crunked> , blasting off music from the pods, running towards the sea and of course worshipping the sun. I so cant wait to get back...