Walk Faster, Bitch!

I am a fast walker. I am the fastest walker I know. A Belgian friend once told me that no one has ever walk faster than he does. Apparently he has met his match.

For me, walking is getting from point A to point B. And I'll try my damn best to get to that other point fast..and when I walk could probably illustrate my own best example of lifehacking:  straight and direct to the point.

But walking in crowded streets can be a bit of a challenge for me- Thanks to people who seems to hog the whole freakin' road and walking as fast my dead granny (Bless her soul). That is totally disrespectful for other people! Don't you feel that you may want to whack slowpokes in front of you sometimes? I know I do.

A couple of days ago, I was walking on the overpass from Landmark to Greenbelt, and amidst the throng of slowpokes, there was this a group of yuppy wannabes who seemed to hog all the freakin way mindless of the lunchtime rush. As I was totally pissed, and he was on my right of way, I walked straight and geared myself to a collision and BAM! I smacked my shoulder into that annoying piece of shit and without looking back I continued walking as if nothing happened. My friend who was right after me broke into a smile (He was a fast walker himself) when he saw that guy's mad expression on his face. Come on, WALK ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ROAD BITCH! So if you are that ugly motherfucker on a pink shirt and tie two days ago, I hope you'd probably learn your damn lesson.

Years ago, I once muttered, "Walk faster!" while I was walking in the streets of Salcedo Village- the lady in front of me almost jumped to one side when she heard it. Yeah right, baby, this is not a public park, move your smelly arse away from my rampaging presence.

According to a study, people are actually 10% walking faster now compared to a decade ago.

Average walking times over 18 metres (60 feet) in seconds

1) Singapore (Singapore); 10.55
2) Copenhagen (Denmark); 10.82
3) Madrid (Spain); 10.89
4) Guangzhou (China): 10.94
5) Dublin (Ireland); 11.03
6) Curitiba (Brazil); 11.13
7) Berlin (Germany); 11.16
8) New York (United States of America); 12.00
9) Utrecht (Netherlands); 12.04
10) Vienna (Austria); 12.06
11) Warsaw (Poland); 12.07
12) London (United Kingdom); 12.17
13) Zagreb (Croatia); 12.20
14) Prague (Czech Republic); 12.35
15) Wellington (New Zealand); 12.62
16) Paris (France); 12.65
17) Stockholm (Sweden); 12.75
18) Ljubljana (Slovenia); 12.76
19) Tokyo (Japan); 12.83
20) Ottawa (Canada); 13.72
21) Harare (Zimbabwe); 13.92
22) Sofia (Bulgaria); 13.96
23) Taipei (Taiwan): 14.00
24) Cairo (Egypt); 14.18
25) Sana'a (Yemen); 14.29
26) Bucharest (Romania); 14.36
27) Dubai (United Arab Emirates); 14.64
28) Damascus (Syria); 14.94
29) Amman (Jordan); 15.95
30) Bern (Switzerland); 17.37
31) Manama (Bahrain); 17.69
32) Blantyre (Malawi); 31.60


This is actually very surprising as I dont find Singaporeans walk that fast at all.. Or I haven't noticed? No wonder I never had complaints walking in the Lion City. The Chinese on the other hand are very rude pedestrians. They would push and shove if necessary (and they aren't that fast walkers themselves!) - they would actually run you down with their mangy bikes!

So whatever it is, it is just common courtesy everywhere that it if you are a slow walker, make sure you stay on the side of the road reserved for you, don't hog the whole freakin' road, because next time baby, you will get to know me better, after I ran you over. ;)