Monday, September 11, 2006

Requiem for 911

I was sleepy and propped upped lazily on the couch when I first saw and heard the breaking news on TV. The World Trade Center was billowing with smoke. It was all too surreal, I thought I was in twilight zone. I woke up my friend and told him what was happening and as the newscaster droned on and on, another plane hit the other building. Pentagon was hit, and another crashed in a grassy knoll in PA. I must be dreaming. This cant be happening. In a daze, I sent a text message to my Mom, and she told me that one of my Dad's former co-workers who migrated to the States worked at WTC. She was on the 75th floor that day. I remembered playing with her kids when they were still the Philippines. Now those former playmates lost their Mom. It was such a sad sad day for the world. How thousands of lives lost because of an extremely flawed American foreign policy, combined with a lethal and deranged interpretation of a supposedly peaceful religion.


 

Saturday, September 9, 2006

Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?


HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.


As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than therate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,extinct......leaving only Heaven,thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Anatomy of a Coño III

So what is a Coño, that  what we have been asking all along? How do we define it on our own terms? I guess they are defined by different criteria, as the meanings offered by linguistic authorities change over time as usage of the term changes too. For now, Coño is differentiated by money, class, education, speech, lifestyle but most importantly by attitude.


I think in any society, in any country, or cultures for that matter, there are variations of the Coño breed. They, like death, and taxes are unavoidable. It still represents deep societal divisions and mirrors the national psyche. It is serves as another proof that elitism is present everywhere, regardless of ideology, color and creed. Even in a supposedly equal and just society as in Communism, there is still a stable of elite cadres to lord all over.


Oh well, life sucks, Coños makes it more amusing, funnier and bearable. Why so, its for you to find out.


 


 


 


 

Monday, September 4, 2006

Paradigm Shifts

Most of my friends were kinda weirded out the way I have been acting antisocial these past few weeks immediately after the Punta Fuego trip. I have missed all the major parties, get togethers, and somehow tried to stay below the radar so much that most of them were surprised, annoyed and questioning. The party animal has gone on an indefinite sabbatical.


But what to do? I'm so over wasting time in the usual places: The Fort, Greenbelt, House Parties... It's just that I got saturated by these activities. Travelling on the other hand can be tiring and expensive. I guess its a cycle for me that happens every after a couple of years to withdraw and go into a cocoon, weaving dreams in my solitude and crafting designs of world domination to come out again and blind the world with the horrifying beauty of my existence (ha ha ha... I guess I am a sick deluded fuck).


I am just so happy right now in my implacable peace, the rhythm of my breathing (tobacco-free now, I must tell you), the splash of the waters, the beautiful dives, the angry swishing of hockey sticks that in one fell swoop, the glorious banging of the 3lbs puck slamming its resin-coated heaviness on that gleaming metallic goal- validates the duality of life - one wins, one loses.


Most of my friends have partners. I am luckier. I am single. They have to compulsorily attend dates, I dont. If I dont feel like going out, I can always beg off. If you are with someone, you have lesser chances of saying No when he/she asks you out when you just feel like curling in your bed in fetal position. Chances are if you said No, he or she would feel bad and has to put up with your choice of just staying put. When you are single, you dont have to please noone and you can look good for everyone. I dont have to wait for someone get dressed, I dont have to watch the stupid film, I can look debonair without someone asking if I am out to flirt with anyone and everyone. Damn, I dont even have to care about their feelings!


Call me selfish. But at this point, selfishness matters to me. For once, I dont have to be Doctor Phil to everybody, and be shock absorber of their sad stories, It's tiring to dish out advices and to console someone in need and watch your own life run away from you. For crying out loud, I am not Mother Teresa. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but I need time for myself, and that time is now. I need to listen to myself. To just be happy.


My friend thought I was being an asshole when I was mouthing off sarcastic remarks few weeks back. Sorry, baby, but you have just been collateral damage. Just give me time.


 I am not looking for dates either, so for those people who were so insistent on getting my number, get off my back.


Damn, I have to finish this ranting now, I have a hockey game to catch. Now if you want to play underwater hockey with me, that's another story.


 


 

Sunday, September 3, 2006

Philippine Underwater Hockey Confederation




PUHC and SAPUHC Photos. Underwater and Above Water. :P Will post photos here of PUHC and SAPUHC Tournaments and Gatherings.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

How to be a Bigot

Copy of the controversial column that had the LGBT community up in arms:


 


SEPARATE OPINION
‘Don we now our gay apparel’



By Isagani Cruz
Inquirer
Last updated 02:14am (Mla time) 08/12/2006


Published on Page A10 of the August 12, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer


HOMOSEXUALS before were mocked and derided, but now they are regarded with new-found respect and, in many cases, even treated as celebrities. Only recently, the more impressionable among our people wildly welcomed a group of entertainers whose main proud advertisement was that they were “queer.” It seems that the present society has developed a new sense of values that have rejected our religious people’s traditional ideas of propriety and morality on the pretext of being “modern” and “broad-minded.”


The observations I will here make against homosexuals in general do not include the members of their group who have conducted themselves decorously, with proper regard not only for their own persons but also for the gay population in general. A number of our local couturiers, to take but one example, are less than manly but they have behaved in a reserved and discreet manner unlike the vulgar members of the gay community who have degraded and scandalized it. I offer abject apologies to those blameless people I may unintentionally include in my not inclusive criticisms. They have my admiration and respect.


The change in the popular attitude toward homosexuals is not particular to the Philippines. It has become an international trend even in the so-called sophisticated regions with more liberal concepts than in our comparatively conservative society. Gay marriages have been legally recognized in a number of European countries and in some parts of the United States. Queer people -- that’s the sarcastic term for them -- have come out of the closet where before they carefully concealed their condition. The permissive belief now is that homosexuals belong to a separate third sex with equal rights as male and female persons instead of just an illicit in-between gender that is neither here nor there.


When I was studying in the Legarda Elementary School in Manila during the last 1930s, the big student population had only one, just one, homosexual. His name was Jose but we all called him Josefa. He was a quiet and friendly boy whom everybody liked to josh but not offensively. In the whole district of Sampaloc where I lived, there was only one homosexual who roamed the streets peddling “kalamay” and “puto” and other treats for snacks. He provided diversion to his genial customers and did not mind their familiar amiable teasing. I think he actually enjoyed being a “binabae” [effeminate].


The change came, I think, when an association of homos dirtied the beautiful tradition of the Santa Cruz de Mayo by parading their kind as the “sagalas” instead of the comely young maidens who should have been chosen to grace the procession. Instead of being outraged by the blasphemy, the watchers were amused and, I suppose, indirectly encouraged the fairies to project themselves. It must have been then that they realized that they were what they were, whether they liked it or not, and that the time for hiding their condition was over.


Now homosexuals are everywhere, coming at first in timorous and eventually alarming and audacious number. Beauty salons now are served mostly by gay attendants including effeminate bearded hairdressers to whom male barbers have lost many of their macho customers. Local shows have their share of “siyoke” [gay men], including actors like the one rejected by a beautiful wife in favor of a more masculine if less handsome partner. And, of course, there are lady-like directors who are probably the reason why every movie and TV drama must have the off-color “bading” [gay] or two to cheapen the proceedings.


And the schools are now fertile ground for the gay invasion. Walking along the University belt one day, I passed by a group of boys chattering among themselves, with one of them exclaiming seriously, “Aalis na ako. Magpapasuso pa ako!” [“I’m leaving. I still have to breastfeed!”] That pansy would have been mauled in the school where my five sons (all machos) studied during the ’70s when all the students were certifiably masculine. Now many of its pupils are gay, and I don’t mean happy. I suppose they have been influenced by such shows as “Brokeback Mountain,” our own “Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros” (both of which won awards), “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” and that talk program of Ellen Degeneres, an admitted lesbian.


Is our population getting to be predominantly pansy? Must we allow homosexuality to march unobstructed until we are converted into a nation of sexless persons without the virility of males and the grace of females but only an insipid mix of these diluted virtues? Let us be warned against the gay population, which is per se a compromise between the strong and the weak and therefore only somewhat and not the absolute of either of the two qualities. Be alert lest the Philippine flag be made of delicate lace and adorned with embroidered frills.


 


 


and more Hate:


 


SEPARATE OPINION
Neither here nor there



By Isagani Cruz
Inquirer
Last updated 08:41am (Mla time) 08/20/2006


Published on page A10 of the August 20, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer


IF I had known that Manuel Quezon III was gay, I would have desisted from writing that column last week on homosexuals out of respect for a fellow columnist. But now that he has retorted angrily and called me a bigot among other names, I have no choice but to reply.


I started that column with the caution that it was not intended as an attack against homosexuals in general and did not include “those who have behaved in a reserved and discreet manner unlike the vulgar members of the gay community who have degraded and scandalized it. I offer abject apologies to those blameless people I may unintentionally include in my not inclusive criticisms. They have my admiration and respect.”


As Mr. Quezon himself does not consider himself among the exceptions, he would be what we lawyers call a “proper party,” or one who is directly injured. In fact, he appears to be severely wounded by my remarks and is hemorrhaging profusely. He, therefore, has a right to react to my “insults” in the waspish manner he saw fit.


He calls me a hate-monger for deriding the vulgar practices of his kind and says I have no right to say what is tasteless and intolerable. Who has—he? Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes said that freedom of speech includes not only the right to express the thought that agrees with us but also the thought that we abhor. Voltaire was grandiloquent: “I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”


Criticism is normal in the free society and is available to everyone right or wrong. The ideas that may be expressed under this freedom are not confined only to those that are sympathetic or acceptable, for that would make the freedom more shadow than substance. To be really meaningful, it should permit the articulation of even the unorthodox view, though it is hostile to or scorned by others. One of the purposes of this freedom, in fact, is to invite dispute.


If I do not appreciate the paintings of Picasso, any one who disagrees with me may say so and explain his reasons. But he cannot attack me personally for criticizing his idol. Mr. Quezon compares me to the tyrants in the police states where unacceptable identity or thought is systematically exterminated. In the free society, ideas are countered with ideas, not pejorative names. For criticizing his kind, Mr. Quezon likens me to the Nazis and the Reds and brands me a hate-monger.


Hate is not per se objectionable as Mr. Quezon may imply. Jesus Christ hated sinners and angrily drove the merchants and money changers from the holy temple they were desecrating. Was he a hate-monger for doing so? When Winston Churchill called on his countrymen to resist the enemy with all their blood, sweat, toil and tears, was he a hate-monger in the despicable sense of the phrase? That is what Mr. Quezon would call me for criticizing his kind.


I am a hate-monger against grafters, murderers, rapists and other criminals, but I only dislike the coarse homosexuals he defends, as is his right. Also disagreeable to me are straight persons who wear loud clothes, flunkies, hypocrites, humbugs and other unpleasant figures, male and female, in our imperfect society. I have the right to criticize them even as they have the right to reply in the common exercise of our freedom of expression.


It all depends on what and whom you hate. If I criticize homosexuals who disgrace their sex with their tasteless practices and appearance, any one among them can rise in defense and say why they should not be called obnoxious. But not in an obnoxious manner.


Mr. Quezon faults me for disagreeing with some practices of his kind that I find intolerable and insists that they have the fundamental right “to those we choose to love, to have relationships with and with whom we aspire to share a life marked by a measure of domestic bliss and emotional contentment.”


Who’s interfering with your romances? As long as you are not violating the law, you are free with your liaisons, and I for one do not pry into your amorous affairs. Nor do I want to.


The important thing is that you have no right to demand that I agree with your pleasures or to forbid me from criticizing your “emotional contentment” if they offend the public interest. You cannot claim a preferred treatment because you are what you are even as you say you should be treated like the rest of the people despite what you are.


Finally, rejecting my reservation that my criticisms are only for the distasteful among you, you piously declare: “I will not embrace him, not for that, much less shake his hand or offer him the opportunity for civilized disagreement.” That opportunity is not yours to give, Mr. Quezon, and as for not embracing me—thank God

Friday, August 25, 2006

Philippine Underwater Hockey Confederation Tournament and Anniversary

Start:     Sep 23, '06 1:00p
Location:     AFP Pool, The Fort, Taguig, After Game Cocktails (Bien Genato's Residence- San Juan)
SAPUHC will now see action! Beer Bong will be provided. He he he