I suffer, because I love.

I am reposting a poem I wrote July last year for my friends who requested so... I initially composed each stanza of this poem on my mobile and was to send it to my object of affection, but instead of sending it to the person, I sent this instead to a friend who asked me to compile everything, and I did. I wrote this down in a piece of paper, and sent the poem along with a bouquet of a dozen peach pink roses that you see here to the one I loved.

"Untitled or Otherwise Known as a Secret Suffering of a Person in Love"

I

I love him just because I love him
and when I love, I love without exceptions.
When I love, I love intensely not tentatively,
I'll love even if I know it will hurt me.
It's like a fire that consumes me,
it burns me, it blinds me, it may even kill me.

II

For he became the air that I breathe,
the blood in my veins, the passion in my poetry.
I feed from the sound of his laughter,
the sparkle in his eyes when he sees me,
the corner of his smile, the movement of his shadows,
the peace of his sleep, the sweetness of his kiss
and the warmth of his body next to mine.
He is a million reasons to live.

II.V (Postcript to I & II)

You came like a misdirected arrow that pierced my quietitude, cursing me to love in an unequal measure, and now that I am dazed and confused, you left me dying in my stained solitude...

III

As fast as the mercury rising, my love ran wild in the night.
Tame me, and make me yours, envelop me in the glow
of your being, I need the shower of your affection,
for I chose not to be anywhere but to be beside you,
beside you I live, to hold your hand and never let go.
Tonight, I decide to dream of you, for in my dreams,
I have you forever.

IV

In the break of dawn I silently gaze, upon the hillocks
and valleys of your body, the soft morning light falling on your
olive-colored skin, counting every heaves of your sighs,
the crests and troughs of your chest as your heart beat steadily,
memorizing every detail of your face, not knowing how long
will I bask in its sweet contemplation, for in this very hour,
I was happy in the midst of my desperation.

V (unfinished)

With your touch, I tremble, tremors course through my body,
with your touch, you leave me breatheless
and with the sweet suffocation, your touch defined my existence.

(and maybe it was my eloquent isolation and the deep
pathos whispers the breathe of my acquiesence to my calm
desolation.)

V.v (Prelude to VI)
Make love to me in pain, whip, bind, subdue me
and drive me to submission, bruise me, I want you
to leave my body in black and blue.
suffocate me, strangle me, chain me, and leave me
beaten senseless, dying on the crumpled sheets
of my dreams, for no pain can match the suffering,
my suffering of loving you.

VI

I drown in the river of my saline grief,
the night I've lost you to the tumbling, fickle winds
and the steady, falling, melancholic rain, the same winds that
carried me to you and then you away from me.
I drown myself in the river of my saline grief,
in the night of the saddest stars.

the other David
July 2-4, 2005